Real Talk: Saying Goodbye

Real Talk: Saying Goodbye

“How Lucky am i to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

Side note before I begin this Real Talk: I put on fake nails for the first time ever, and it feels really weird to type with them right now. (Peep my Twitter to read my live Tweets from my fake nail application experience last week.)

Today, one of my best friends from college is graduating. I am completely excited for Alexa, but the day is also bittersweet. I still have another year left of undergrad to go. Unfortunately, she lives a little over an hour away from me, so I’m not sure when I will see her next. I know we’re going to do a great job of keeping in touch, as we always have during breaks before. It’s just going to be hard to not have her around during school anymore. I am so incredibly happy for her, and I wish her the very best in life after undergrad. I just can’t help but be a little selfish and wish I had more time with her.

It’s hard no matter how long you’ve known the person

Saying goodbye is never easy under any circumstance, especially when someone has been such a big part of your life. I have been friends with Alexa since my freshman year of college. She was there from the very beginning of it all. We really connected the beginning of my sophomore year, and since then we’ve been inseparable. She knows basically my entire life story. She’s been there for me through thick and thin. She’s become somewhat of my “other half.”

I haven’t known Alexa as long as some of my friends, but that doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier. She really has been a huge part of my life. There are also a few people I’ve only met this semester who I know it will be hard to say goodbye to. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known the person. You could know someone for two days or 20 years. Goodbye is never easy.

Distance and Timing Suck!

Saying goodbye is even harder when neither of you necessarily want to say goodbye. Sometimes things like timing and distance are the causes of goodbye. To be completely blunt – timing and distance suck! A number of times in my life, timing and distance have been the sole reasons why I had to say goodbye to someone. Everything else was completely fine in the friendship or in the relationship. It’s especially annoying when a goodbye is caused by those reasons because you have no control over it. There’s not much you can do to fix distance, other than maybe moving. And, there’s really nothing you can do at all if timing isn’t right.

Knowing you’re on a Time Crunch

There have been times in my life  when I have met someone kind of last minute. These people we’re definitely people I wanted to have in my life for a while, but both distance and timing were in the way. In some of these circumstances, we knew we were on a time crunch. There was only a certain amount of time before one of us had to leave to go back home or back to college or somewhere else. Towards the end of this semester, Alexa and I started to feel that way. I think that makes saying goodbye even harder – knowing you only have a certain amount of time.

The only solution I can offer to knowing you’re on a time crunch is not thinking about being on a time crunch. I have used this method before. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time to spend with the person, so we didn’t talk about what would happen after the time we knew we had together. We decided to live in the moment and not think about the future. Of course, I still knew it was going to end eventually and it was still hard to say goodbye when the time came, but at least we lived in the moment and enjoyed the time we had together. I think that’s the best possible solution to knowing you don’t have that much time with someone.

Trying to make distance Work

In some circumstances, you can make distance work. In friendships, I have definitely been able to make distance work. In relationships, I have not figured that out yet. As hard as it will be to not see Alexa during the school year and not be able to hangout with her every weekend, I know we won’t let the distance between us affect our friendship. During breaks from college we weren’t able to see each other, but we constantly kept in touch. I know it will be the same now. We will just have to make time every so often to visit each other in our home towns.

I feel like it’s easier to make distance work in friendships – that’s just my opinion. Longer-term friendships, like mine and Alexa’s, have already been through a lot. And, we know we can make things work. Relationships aren’t always as simple. I feel like with relationships you physically have to be with someone quite often to make it work. In my opinion, distance puts too much strain on a relationship. This is purely my opinion though. I have never been in a long distance relationship, but I have been in relationships where my significant other or myself couldn’t always be available enough for us to physically be together. I kind of feel like the lack of availability in some of my past relationships was almost equivalent to what I would experience in a long distance relationship.

In short: I’m more of a fan of long distance friendships than I am of long distance relationships.

The end of an era

Goodbye often feels like that end of the era. Alexa and I were the dynamic duo, and when we went out with our other best friend, Paige, we were #triogoals. The three of us had a lot of fun together this semester. This is the semester when the three of us really bonded, and we have a lot of amazing memories from it all. With the end of the semester and with Alexa’s graduation, the beginning of the summer kind of feels like the end of an era. Again, it’s bittersweet.

The end of an era doesn’t have to be a bad thing though. There are supposed to be different eras in your life, filled with different experiences. The end of one era also means the beginning of another one that is just as amazing as the previous one. One positive thing about the end of an era is all the memories you have from it.

It Can Just be “goodbye for now”

Yeah, I know there’s a saying that goes something like “it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later,” but that’s so overused. So, I’d like to think of it as “it’s not goodbye forever, it’s just goodbye for now.” Goodbyes don’t always have to be definite. In fact, they mostly aren’t definite unless an extenuating circumstance arises.

If you don’t want to say goodbye forever to someone, then don’t. Make the friendship or relationship work. Make the effort to travel to see your friend or your significant other. Make the effort to text, FaceTime and call that person. It’s not always going to be easy to make these types of friendships and relationships work. If it gets too much to try to make it work, then maybe it’s not worth it. But, the friendships and relationships that are able to survive distance and timing and other circumstances are definitely the friendships and relationships that are worth it.

 

Saying goodbye is probably one of the hardest things to do. Here’s a secret – it will never get easier to do. My best advice to you is cherish the people who are in your life right now. Appreciate the time you have with them today and live in the moment. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye, and you’re definitely going to miss the person. At least you’ve had someone so special and significant in your life that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Don’t cry, my Dolls! It’s just a goodbye for now!

 

Need some good music to cheer you up? Check out my “Current Playlist #2: Lust for Life.”

To get a more in-depth look at the world of The Porcelain Doll, be sure to follow me on InstagramTwitter and Pinterest. Also check out my YouTube channel and my poetry blog.

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